Hatred of Heaven

here i am again, updating.. pretty nasty stuff going on these days. i have no idea how long it’s going to stay like this but i sure hope it ends soon. all this crap happening at the same time is not fun. very very annoying to say the least. okay, let me clarify, someone in the family messed up big time so i guess as a family i/we should help, right? but even then, i feel like i am being pushed into yet another salvation/substitute position due to this big purchase and i feel like the Grape is trying to get me to commit to something that i don’t really feel comfortable doing at this specific time. [sorry, i’ll just use fruits instead of names; does it sound weird? lol] anyways, so there’s Orange listening to all of this and it doesn’t really comment on much. Then Kiwi goes and says ‘sure i’ll commit to it’… i mean Kiwi is nice and is always like that when it comes to money [there i said the topic that bothers me]. the Kiwi was then looking at me and i guess i was looking mean? it wasn’t for the Kiwi, the look was for the Grape, but the Grape kept talking and it was annoying me. basically the Grape was not very trusting of Apple. Apple already said it wanted to commit ‘yeah, sure, i’ll do it too’ and of course i wasn’t saying anything. knowing Apple, it was hard for me to even trust the entire situation. and when i finally said something, it was a complaint. so Grape jumped on that and started saying how it’s okay if ‘you want to keep all your money for yourself’, which pissed me of majorly because of this fact: i lent both Grape and Apple a total of close to $3000 just a few weeks ago due to Apple’s stupid misdeeds and now Grape has the guts to say that.. i was so i angry i couldn’t say much after that. and so Grape kept saying to everyone ‘if you all can’t commit to this then we’ll just have to back out of it, that’s all there is to it’ and after saying that while pacing in front of me, i was silent the whole time pretending to be indifferent. then Grape suddenly said ‘Mango, you just need to ask for more hours so we can secure this, you know. that’s all you need to do. i’m not asking you to quit school or anything like that.’ [okay, let’s say i was Mango lol] before this whole thing started getting ugly, Grape said to me, ‘Mango, you’ll be responsible for the ****** which is $500 per month that will be required of you.’ let me just say that this will be during one of the toughest school year for me and that amount is more than what my usual working hours would total. does Grape not want me to study anymore? so damn funny, it said to me, work all the weekends instead of just every other weekend. so basically, no time to study for my exams  or whatever? anyways just that suggestion proves how Grape just blabs on without thinking. then Grape says to Kiwi ‘you can just give $300.’ then to Apple, ‘you’ll pay me the same as Mango. don’t say you don’t have money on this whatever month, you need to give it, remember that’ i always wondered why Grape wanted me to have the responsibility for the ****** instead of Apple. i mean officially, i should only be the back up not the main plan, so to say [am i losing you in all this?] and i don’t know the situation is not as attractive as it may seem to all of them. it pisses me of majorly and i don’t even know how i’ll be able to handle that on top of all my other expenses and crap. anyways, what a weird update huh? i’ll stop for now, a friend is coming over soon.

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