If All Else Fails, Go For The Eyes!

recently, i have been preparing for my senior practicum and in a matter of days, i will be starting soon. i’m glad i did most of my prep work already because now i don’t feel nervous at all. i feel like a girl scout, prepared for whatever will come my way hahaha! i haven’t written anythingon this blog in such a long time so i was surprised to see comments! it was a good surprise even though there was one that was pretty harsh LOL she had a point though; but i did too. XD

anyway, did i mention that my neice and my nephew along with their mom, go back to florida already?  yes they did. and it’s been a while since we’ve talked to Dolly [let’s pretend that’s my niece’s name] and so two days ago, her mom calls us and she starts talking about her school and her friends. then my brother set her off by laughing at her [she is 4 yrs old]  and she gets pissed. she starts ranting about how everybody is always laughing at her and so my brother says this to distract her: “Grandma [my mom] is going there to visit you.” she starts crying like crazy over the phone and tattles to her mom “DeeDee”. So Dee asks us why we made her kid cry and so i talked to my neice. then the poor little thing just vented about her feelings. at such a young age, it was really something to hear her talk the way she did. i asked her why she was crying becausei thought she had gotten the idea that my brother said my mom was coming over to their place to scold her for some reason, which was probably true; she knows how strict my mom is compared to her mommy LOL. so then she tangents off on to a different but very understandable topic. “I miss Grandmama” [my mom’s sister] who lived maybe an hour away from their house. she says this while she is still crying. so i let her talk and she explains to me that she wants to go sleep over to my auntie’s house but her mommy won’t let her because it was a school day. i told her that she had to follow mommy but she can go to my aunt’s house over the weekend, when she’s done school for the week. she agrees to this but she says “But i’m waiting so long, I miss her. I wanna sleep to her, but it’s school day still. I’m waiting for so long already.” i told her it was ok to miss Grandmama, she can always call their house to which she replies, “I did that already but it’s still nothing, it’s so long.” she’s still crying while she talked to me. I told her not to cry and i realized my mistake the moment those words came out of my mouth. she bawled until she couldn’t talk anymore and my cousin had to give her water to calm her down before talking to me again.

you should know that she’s a fairly social little kid, she likes it when there’s lots of people to talk to; i think this is where our family messed by because she had too much people always around her that she failed to have alone time. she never played alone; her imagination was never pulled on as much compared to her younger brother who can have a small toy car in his hand and he’d go to a quiet corner and just play. she could never last like that; it would be close to torture if she had nobody to talk to. we always played jokes, and made up stories and we encouraged her to do so too, but to be content with her thoughts with a single toy; she couldn’t handle that.

Now, i should tell you she’s a pretty analytical kid and she can put two and two fairly quickly and so it was really something when i heard her say this: “I’m so sad, nobody talks to me,” I felt really bad for being so far away and not being able to hug her close. I told her that she could always talk to her Mama Jenny or mommy or even to her baby brother James. needless to say this is a sorry excuse, but it’s what is observed from their household; her Mama Jenny [my mom’s other sister] and her mommy and her brother are living under the same roof but, my aunt and my cousin either have work or are busy with something and what i’m guessing is that she doesn’t do well with ‘play with your toys over there’ kind of situation; it doesn’t stimulate her as much as interacting with another person.

so i try to comfort her by saying, “It’s okay. I’ll hug you when you’re sleeping tonight. i’ll send the Fairy Queen [my alter ego LOL] over to give you a kiss goodnight, she’ll visit your dreams tonight.”

to which she says, “But i always dream of being sad and missing everybody.” she starts crying again. “I miss Grandmama, I miss you, I miss everybody. I wanna go there now.” More crying. “I think i need to go to the doctor because i don’t like feeling so sad, but they will give me injection and i don’t want that because it hurts.” She recently went to the doctor to get her vaccinations and i guess she remembered. “they gave me injection so that i won’t get sick, but it hurts.” my heart was hurting at this point. see how smart this kid is? i just felt so sorry for her; she was too young to say such things. to say that she wanted to see a doctor to get rid of her sad feelings, it was tearing all of us apart. but we couldn’t do anything.

the phone was on speaker phone, so by now everyone in the house who were listening had tears rolling down their faces and i could se my cousin wiping at her eyes like me. i didn’t know what to say to my neice. i knew she wasn’t used to the environment where there weren’t so many people but i felt bad that she felt that way even though she was with her mommy and grandma. “Dolly, it’s okay, when you feel sad, hug your mommy and everybody in the house. then ask mommy to call us, if you want to talk, okay?”

“okay.” she was supposed to get ready for bed so we exchanged our i love you and i miss you and that’s how that went. i miss that little kid. =( so now to help her out, we’ll call them more often.


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