Those Crazy Moments

I’m positive everyone has had their fair share of random crazy moments. Here is one, among the hundreds, that I’ve had when I was in University 1. My best friend and I are often found by others laughing like maniacs, but since we’ve grown up a bit now (LOL), we try not to do it so much out of doors… anyways, I dug this up when I was cleaning my room, a monologue play that we made as we rode the 50 minute bus ride home:

Bleeditis:

(a man in a tuxedo has a top hat and a cane with tap-dancing shoes)

(the man tap dances for a while…)

he sings:

(1st verse)

i am sad man; mr. vojangles.

i like your spangles, and i think drink.

it makes me happy, all night and day.

i love my fat cat, & Swedish berries…

i hate the diapers my grandma wears.

she is half frozen, she is half thawed.

she is supposed to be dead but just won’t die!!!

i am forty, have uvulitis,

but someone cut it and now i bleeditis!

(2nd verse)

i am in heaven… la la la la la.

my only uvula, got finger-buried.

it grew up so fast, i had to hurry,

but someone cut it and now i bleeditis!

but someone cut it and now i bleeditis!

but someone CUT IT AND NOW I BLEEDITIS!

NOOOOOOOoooooooooo……………..!!!!!!!!!!!

(he kneeels on the ground and stands up looking mad)

(3rd verse)

PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! MY PAIN! IS NOT! YOUR PAIN!

WHO MADE MY PAIN!  DON’T LAUGH! (points at a laughing girl in audience)

DON’T YOU GET IT? coz someone cut it and now i bleeditis!

(he walks around agitated and tensed and furious)

my uvula got cut in half, and i fell down low on my calf;

then everything just got so dark, i heard an old dog bark…

WOOF WOOF ARF ARF, then i had to barf

MY BLOOD, MY BLOOD, MY BLOOD, MY BLOOD, MY BLOOD!

and then she came with tongs and prongs, and said she would just see;

but my uvula got pulled so strong, it broke and i was dizzy.

I DIED! I DIED! DON’T YOU THINK I DIED?

coz someone cut it and now i bleeditis!

PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! MY PAIN! IS NOT! YOUR PAIN!

WHO MADE MY PAIN! DON’T LAUGH! (points at a laughing girl in audience)

DON’T YOU GET IT? coz someone cut it and now i bleeditis!

(runs to the laughing girl and pulls out her uvula)

AND NOW I’LL CUT IT AND NOW YOU BLEEDITIS!

(he runs back to the stage)

(he starts laughing evilly)

your uvula got cut in half, and you fell down low on your calf;

then everything just got so dark, you heard an old dog bark…

WOOF WOOF ARF ARF, then you had to barf

YOUR BLOOD, YOUR BLOOD, YOUR BLOOD, YOUR BLOOD, YOUR BLOOD!

COZ NOW I CUT IT AND NOW YOU BLEEDITIS!

(he runs to the back of the stage, laughing and holding up the bloody uvula)

——The End——-

Omg, I just now realized what kind of brain I had about 6 years ago… I still find this funny, but I’m appalled at how we even managed to think up this thing. LOL but it’s all good…

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