A Hard Choice To Make

Let’s say you are in a certain situation. You get along pretty well with your immediate family, at most. Your parents are good together when the going’s good, but they are horrible when they don’t get along. Yelling and screaming, along with name calling, even in the night, when they are about to go to sleep. Your siblings are good people, but the laziness means you do the house chores by yourself even when they are on their day off as well. You feel bad for your mother, who is the only other house cleaner when you’re not around or at work. You know she stresses out about this because technically, she’s chronically sick and the rest of the people at home are adults, who can but will not help with the house chores or cooking unless instructed to. You all work different schedule so it’s never the same person on the same day off. The house is a 2 storey with a basement. Having 5 adults in there means a messy house because 3 of them do not have the initiative to help around. You’ll have to either yell at them or pretty much beg them to help, which you’ve done for years and honestly, you’re just fed up with it so you don’t bother anymore and just do it yourself to avoid the stress. Now the choice is this: do you leave them; move out on your own so they can learn (hopefully) to do things for themselves, knowing that your mom will be the person who will be most affected, since no one will be helping her anymore? Or do you stay to avoid stressing out your mom, but you pretty much let the others get away with being lazy, because you know you won’t be lecturing them anymore after years of trying?

It’s a hard choice, but I think it’s necessary for those 3 to realize that they can’t live like that forever. It bothers me that they don’t even think they should be doing those things, when you get them to do one thing, they’re done and will often say, “It’s your turn this time, I did it last time.” It’s not so dysfunctional when we get together, watch a movie, go to church, eat out, etc, but when it comes to those things, they don’t think of it as a mandatory thing. I feel like they don’t know the rule of division of labour. If all they do is eat and sleep and go to work, then I don’t think I can live like that anymore. It’s not fair to my mom and to myself. I wish my mom could move out to her own apartment so those three could see how it is just by themselves. I’m sure they’ll survive (LOL) but they won’t be as clean with their living space and there will be a lot of finger-pointing and swearing around dinner time when there’s no food ready, or impromptu laundry days because nobody will think to do it weekly. I think I will need to come home a few days a week to help my mom out, but they don’t need to know that.

Ok, the plan is to save for at least 4 months of rent money ($4000) so that if/when I change jobs early next year, it won’t be so hard on me. I’m thinking early June 2014 to try out the moving thing? I don’t have much stuff.. just a lot of clothes. and books. and shoes. I can’t wait to buy my future furniture! If I can find a house for rent, and a roommate, that’ll be awesome! I hate apartments.. I’m a hermit so, as little human interaction as possible is great. Ahahaha!! No, I just want to be able to put my music loud and have no one complain about it. =) That’s the big plan for next year!


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